Music Downloads & Lyrics
you know I'd give anything not to drown
to my
insecurities and there's a huge
difference between knowing the solution
and actually following
through I'm so tired of doubting myself
putting myself down I just need to
ignore all the lies that keep running
through my
head yeah I show strength even when I'm
feeling weak I suit up and show up as
I'm dealing with the feet depression is
present you can hear when I speak and if
I tell you I'm okay I'd be lying through
my teeth racing thoughts as I'm driving
in my Jeep I just want to feel that
peace like I'm dying in my sleep let's
be honest you want to know the truth I
want to feel that freedom but I'm stuck
in self abuse quivering anxiety's
through the roof if I'm not taking care
of me then I'm not taking care of you I
fall short turn around and make a joke I
make light of situations cuz I don't
know how to cope I'm sticking out my
hand praying someone pulls me up I can't
cry I help like my mouth is swollen shut
I'm all in I'm ripping off the mask
missed opportunities another year is
passed and yeah I realize to get older
is a privilege it's a miracle to make it
through addiction to all my close
friends I am sorry I've been distant I'm
sorry I don't text and I'm sorry I don't
visit it's like life is like a mindfield
I walk through just need a little hope
and a God that I can talk to nobody is
perfect everybody makes mistakes I've
came a long way I need to give myself a
break
I get so in my head thinking I should be
further in life than I am it cripples me
I struggle I struggle to live in the
here and
now I'm always fixated on the future
fure it's like my mind can be so
dangerous and it can become such a dark
place even in a crowded room I feel
alone I need to reach out I can't do
this on my own colder than mid-February
pain it is necessary illness is
hereditary trips to the cemetery cemeter
issues by the car load a pocket full of
money but I still fear
tomorrow I've always stuffed my feelings
the process is vital I can't interrupt
the healing I went from holding a
syringe to holding my kids I went from
wanting to die to being eager to live to
my wife to be I know I shut down lack
communication I am not where I'd like to
be I need to be more patient with B am I
right wrong half the time I can't even
tell I'm full of flaws the work is never
done still I need to be more
affectionate with my son I mean listen I
hope you understand me I'll go that
extra mile while providing for my family
I stay calm even when I'm triggered I'm
just trying to be a positive father
figure I'm gripping on the Gratitude
praying I don't lose it there's several
parts of Parenthood where I need
Improvement but it's not about me it's
all about the kids cuz even when I'm
empty all I ever do is
give you know it's an incredible feeling
to be able to be there for others family
is everything I just want to do my part
I just want to be enough I want to be
that role model for my children and show
them that it's not about the hand you
were dealt it's how you play your
cards I want them to know that they can
come to me about anything and they don't
never have to face their problems alone
isolated in this pessimism synthetic
prison again I'm headed towards these
vicious emotions with no forgiveness I
pick myself up every time I fall I pick
that phone up guard every time you call
I only seen two options that or jail now
all I see is innocence behind that
wedding veil you can flip that coin cuz
whether it's heads or tails I'm
embracing every risk i w never fail
never fa I'll never win the nomination
my past life is not exactly dinner
conversation I'm not complaining I'm
just sitting here checking in tired and
exhausted I'm just hoping for a second
wind I should reach for help maybe I
don't ask bending down picking up the
pieces to this fractured trust I'm
driving on this lonely road going Toe to
Toe with all my demons God only
knows I feel worthless I beat myself up
on them days that I ain't perfect I
should be elated for the fact that I'm
alive I mean I should be happy for the
fact that I survived
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