Music Downloads & Lyrics
Hey, hi. Hello everyone. Anthony Fantano
here, internet's busiest music nerd. I
hope you're doing well. It's time for a
tier list. A tier list in celebration of
the platform that I am on right now,
youtube.net. Yes, that crazy upand
cominging brand new fresh social media
app that all the kids are on where users
young and old go every day to watch the
best and brightest in the content
creation world. Be that resigns Willie
Jston or my personal favorite awesome
meal time today. And who can also forget
the comedy on YouTube too. Smoosh. But
today we're talking about music. And no,
I'm not talking about cool rap battles
of time of all time. No. Instead on this
video, we are talking about the biggest
and most viewed songs and music videos
ever on the platform. and I'm going to
be tier listing them out based on
whether or not I like them or don't.
It's as simple as that. Okay,
transition. Here we have my handy dandy
blank tier list. I'm going to go over
these top 10 songs and rank them out. Uh
before I do the ranking, I want to do a
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sponsoring today's video. Okay, starting
with the 10th most viewed song and music
video on the YouTube platform. Uh we
have One Republic Counting Stars, which
dropped in 2013. And essentially, this
track is like some hopeful generic
coworker acoustic rock. It's the sort of
thing that someone you knew from high
school posts to Facebook as an example
of like Monday motivation, something
along those lines. And while in and of
itself, I wouldn't say it's um
horrendous or unlistenable, there are
definitely songs in this lane that are a
lot more forcefully cheery or rank
higher in the Christian youth group
counselor song book. Still, this track
does serve as an archetype for a lot of
that mess, and it's kind of best to
avoid it at all costs if you can. I'm
going to put it, I don't know, C. I'm
feeling generous at the start of this
video. We're putting it in the in the in
the C um row. Okay. Ninth most viewed
music video and song on the YouTube
platform. That is Shakira Waka. This
time for Africa. one of the biggest
global hits from one of the most
internationally recognized artists. Uh,
this track went number one in numerous
countries, which is not surprising, not
only because it is very listenable, but
it was also tied in as the official 2010
song for FIFA. However, like most
anything else on this list, uh, this
track mostly just kind of is a watered
down version of a better thing that is
maximized for appeal across the widest
number of people. The whole instrumental
is a bland bastardization of South
African music. I mean, in fact, the
track has been criticized for not being
sung by a South African uh instead by a
Colombian that most Westerners read as
white. I mean, its makeup is not as
weird or as problematic as maybe some
things out there. But it still stands
that the song sounds like a damn tourism
commercial. I can't really put it on or
hear in the background somewhere without
feeling like I'm being sold something,
which is why I'm putting it over in the
uh D row. We're giving it the D. Okay.
Next, next. Next. Uh even more viewed
than that one apparently is Maroon 5
with Sugar. Yeah, pretty much grading
falsetto pop rock that makes my skin
crawl the more I listen to it. And while
the band has made worse music for sure,
I think a better group would have laid
more stank on this song, given it more
personality because as the track stands,
it just kind of sounds like the best
ideas and elements of an artist like
Prince hollowed out and made Toothless
in such a way to where you could play
this at a wedding and grandma won't get
offended. In fact, like the music video
is just like them playing this song at a
bunch of weddings and like lo and
behold, everyone's like, "Yeah, woo!
Maroon Fives at my wedding, which is
honestly the worst thing that could
potentially happen to your marriage,
even more so than divorce, which is why
I'm putting it over in the Ero for ew.
Okay, at number seven on the list, we
have uh Elchumbo Dancing alien uh
damosita featuring Cuddy Ranks. And
yeah, essentially what we have here is a
goofy repetitive ass regga tone track
loaded with hokey incessant vocal
samples and like this overly macho rap
verse. And honestly, it bangs. It's
bass, too. Uh, so I'm going to put this
over in the B column. Okay, at number
six on the list, we're we're getting
even
crazier. Oh, yeah. Getting crazier. See?
See what I did there? Getting crazy.
Yeah, crazy frog. Axelf. uh the 2009
classic, which this is some of the
greatest music mankind has ever created.
Do I even need to explain why? Like,
this is the reason God invented dance
pop, so that we could have tracks like
this. Not to mention, Crazy Frog, I
think, is the only artist on the planet
to blow up globally in the way that he
did while essentially like sharing his
uh pain openly with the world. Yes, this
artist's career like literally kicked
off with a dickpick. And I mean, you
don't really need to look that far to
see that this thing's thing is
everywhere. Stunning and brave, uh, as
they say. Uh, this is going in the S
tier
foring. Okay, following this, we have
the even more popular Uptown Funk with
Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson at number
five. Very Casey Casem of me to drop it
in that way. Does anybody even know that
that reference at this point? Anyway,
Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars teaming up on
this track is one of the few instances
where a commercial copycat of a more
authentic thing is pretty good and
suffices for the most part. Would I
rather listen to any number of synth
funk classics uh from Prince or Janet or
Zap or Rick James or the Gap Band over
this song uh or or The Time. Yes, that
is all far superior synth funk that you
absolutely should be listening to. But
still, it remains that Uptown Funk is a
legit synth funk banger. In fact, we
were lucky to have gotten one in the
year of our Lord 2014. And I don't know
what it is, but that man, that Bruno
Mars man, he just continues to be a
human jukebox. And this is genuinely a
song that to my ears, even when it comes
on today, 10 years later, uh it's it
still bangs. It still bangs. I'm going
to put it in the uh the B tier. It's
pretty good. Okay, next in the YouTube
tier list with over 5 billion views. So,
we have Sai with Gangum Style. You know,
before the current wave of fake industry
planted and groomed uh K-pop groups had
taken the charts by storm, we had real
Korean pop and rap with Sai. Yeah, Sai
is the artist that you listen to when
you're like a real K-pop and rap purist.
Nothing but the most authentic and
organic and old school K-pop and rap
suffices for you. Sai is who you go to
and and he really blessed us uh with
this anthem over a decade ago. It became
a real anthem for lovable goofballs
everywhere. This song is pure candy,
pure sugar, pure unadulterated joy,
which I will not allow you to take from
me. However, I'm going to have to put
this in the A row and not the S row
because Sai should not have apologized
for his critical comments on the Iraq
war. Okay, next on the list, we have uh
the third most viewed song and music
video on the YouTube platform, Ed
Sheeran, Shape of You. What else can I
say? Um, this song is like the bane of
my existence. It is so gross. It is so
annoying. It is so soulless. It is so
weird. This track, to my ears, truly
does feel representative of a society,
of a culture that doesn't really know
what sex and romance are because few
things turn me off in the way that this
song does. Truly and honestly, it's an F
because nobody is going to F to this.
It's F all the way. Okay, here we have
the number two song and music video on
the YouTube platform. Whiz Khalifa, See
You Again, featuring Charlie Puth, which
is like in in so many ways the worst
like formula and combination and example
that you could have of like an industry
groomed and created song. This track
just sounds like it was assembled in a
factory. And uh the fact that it is tied
in with a Fast and Furious film, number
seven to be specific, uh just increases
that sensation even more so. Yeah, it's
awful. It's gross. It's annoying.
Charlie Puth's boyish vocals lack true
and serious passion. Whiz Khalifa sounds
like he's rapping for the check and even
drops in a bar about like, you know,
family. and the way that the music video
exploits the the nostalgia and
seriously, you know, sad feelings that
people had around this time uh with the
passing of Paul Walker as much as, you
know, obviously I'm sure he loved being
involved with this film franchise. It
just feels weird in retrospect because
again, it's not like the song is being
performed by people who knew him
personally or something like that. Uh
it's like again uh we miss Paul. we need
to write a song about missing somebody
uh for the for the for the movie. It
just reads like a Hallmark greeting
card, which I know sounds very crass and
dismissive to say, but again, I just
hate the way that the entertainment
industry monetizes stuff like this,
which is why I'm feeling an F on it.
Okay, here we have the number one song
and music video on the YouTube platform.
Finally, Luis Foni, Despacito, the one
and only. Yeah, there was a time where
you really couldn't go anywhere without
like hearing this song all over the
place. And you know, for the most part,
my memories of that time were just kind
of like fine. It wasn't bad. There were
certainly worse songs that have been
everywhere at certain points in pop
music history. Plus, I mean, I got to
respect any song that brings uh Daddy
Yankee or Big Daddy Yankee uh back into
the fold because Gasolina is a goddamn
banger. Anyway, this track overall just
kind of sounds like two dudes having
fun. I think the vocal mixes and the
instrumentation are kind of obnoxious
and and grading uh when you listen to
them again and again like a lot of pop
music was around this time. But I still
like the tune itself and I think the
song overall is a a decent combination
of regggetone and Latin pop. I think my
biggest gripe with it around the time
would have been that this song is just
so massive in comparison with the many
other Latin pop and regatone artists
who, you know, frankly were more
interesting around this time. But
honestly, the Latin music landscape
internationally has shifted so much
since then and has matured and grown and
features a much wider array of voices
and expressions. Uh, so it's it's kind
of hard to get frustrated with this song
about that. I I think in retrospect uh
this kind of seems like a a way paving
moment rather than it was something that
kind of like overshadowed uh potentially
better artists because the fact that we
have you know records like the New Bad
Bunny album for example uh out there
today doing as well as they are and sort
of like having the uh personal and
social commentary uh that those records
do in the mix I think is a great thing
but still it remains like I'm not
exactly going crazy when this uh song
goes on. It's not my favorite uh
reggaone track by far and for the most
part it's fine. I'm a you
know neutral on it which is why I think
I am just going to take this and put it
over in the C. Not the D for Despacito,
but the C for cool. That track I'm kind
of cool with it. Okay guys, that's it.
Anthony Fantano here, internet's busiest
music nerd. That's my tier list. Over
here next to my head is another video
that you can check out. Hit that up or
the link to subscribe to the channel.
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